


Looking for Hate

by Rincewind



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Multi, karkat looking for a kismesis, there's violent language and things like that
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-04
Updated: 2015-05-03
Packaged: 2018-03-28 23:06:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3873226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rincewind/pseuds/Rincewind
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Karkat looking for a Kismesis on Troll Reddit! Basically just exploring how that might work.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Looking for Hate

**Author's Note:**

> Indenting is weird and I hate it. So much that I have a hatecrush on it.
> 
> The typing quirks might be a bit difficult to read so ° = o, @ = a, punctuation is as upside down as possible (¿¡' = ?!,) for Krkrik.

Karkat had just logged on to troll reddit, ready to flirt around for a kismesis. He had to admit to himself, he was getting pretty desperate. Hate rejections are a strange thing to deal with - are you supposed to be sad? Happy? Glad that they're around, even?  
Some trolls had been calling him a flirt, which didn't end well. It turned out they weren't trying to initiate anything. Karkat would *really* rather forget about that incident. Nobody else will, but at least most of them have started avoiding him now instead of keeping on about it.  
On this particular day, he was browsing tr/looking-for-hate and tr/kismesis, sending half-hearted threats and insults to anyone who looked even slightly repulsive. Then he noticed something was different - there was someone new on the forum, and hateflirting with everyone. Maybe it was a long shot, or just someone messing about, but perhaps if he played his cards right, it could work well. For a while, at least.

Hey dumbasses, how many of you does it take to change a lightbulb? NONE BECAUSE LIGHTBULBS ALL RUN AWAY FROM YOU

They weren't very good at it, but there weren't too many people replying and Karkat was actually feeling some decent repulsion. Maybe disgust even. True, it wasn't hate, but in time it could be. They definitely need some training up to be a decent rival, but that's better than having no fucking where to direct all his fucking anger, like a fucking antagonist with nobody to actually fucking- yeah okay, maybe this would be a good way to ease his hateful frustration.

Hey dumbasses, how many of you does it take to change a lightbulb? NONE BECAUSE LIGHTBULBS ALL RUN AWAY FROM YOU  
| WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN BY THAT. YOU WOULDN'T KNOW WHAT A RADIATION ORB WAS IF IT HIT YOU IN THE FACE.  
|| Uhh, you dumb fuck theyre called lightbulbs. And fuck you, i could change a lightbulb if i wanted  
||| ü 2 äre reälly intö this ärent ü?? gö get ä ßättlefield ör sömething will ü?? its gross??  
|||| GO AWAY SERGUS NOBODY ASKED WHAT YOU THINK  
||||| hey düde i töld yöü im nöt interested!!  
|||||| I think the world would be a better place if both of you had less heads  
||||||| WOAH WAIT I THINK IT'S A BIT SOON FOR THAT  
|||||||| What  
||||||||| IM NOT COMFORTABLE WITH YOU COMING ON TO ME LIKE THAT  
|||||||||| What the fuck dude i wasnt  
||||||||||| yoU werE sooO cominG oN tO hiM,, thaT waS reallY obviouS  
|||||||||||| What no i was trolling  
||||||||||||| someonE''S goT A hatE crusH!! yoU''rE noT doinG A gooD joB oF hidinG iT  
|||||||||||||| ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR THINKPAN? WHAT MADE YOU EVEN CONSIDER THE POSSIBILITY THAT I MIGHT NOT NOTICE THAT OBVIOUS  
|||||||||||||| PICKUP LINE. AND NOT ONLY THAT BUT YOU OBVIOUSLY PUT A LOT OF CONFIDENCE IN YOUR RUMBLESPHERES TO COME ON TO  
|||||||||||||| *TWO* TROLLS AT ONCE. IT'S ALMOST LIKE YOU DON'T HAVE THE SLIGHTEST CLUE ABOUT HOW TROLL ROMANCE WORKS.  
||||||||||||||| What the fuck are you talking about im going back to normal reddit  
|||||||||||||||| AUGH

Well, that didn't work. Maybe he'll look on the other forums instead, the hateflirting ones are usually full of dumbasses anyway (You're r8 a8out that, dum8ass) what was that? Huh, never mind. Anyway he was a bit stupid to be looking on those forums. Stupid stupid stupid. There won't really be anyone looking for hate there though, so really it's more of a distraction.

He spent a while browsing his favourite few threads - mostly ones about funny lusus stories. There was one particular thread he saw this time, a new one about "What the lusus brought in."

hey guy5 i thought id 5tart a new thread 6ecau5e i dont think there5 a place already for thi5 topic. and i wanted to 5tart it! 5oooo la5t night my lu5u5 wa5 out really late and finally came 6ack with ANOTHER LU5U5 DEAD IN HI5 MANDI6LE5 there wa5 di5gu5ting 6rown 6lood EVERYWHERE  
| eww th@ts gr°ss kers°t wh@t did y°u d° @b°ut it¿ °n° the °nly thing i c@n think °f is when my lusus br°ught ME in bec@use i w@s ,,°ut l@ter th@n usu@l,,¡  
|| hEY, uH GUYS? i, wANTED TO SAY THAT, iF IT'S NOT TOO MUCH TROUBLE, tO NOT BE MEAN, aBOUT MY BLOOD? }:(  
||| dude n° we d°n,t c@re @b°ut y°ur stupid bl°°d c°l°ur  
|||| DID YOU *ACTUALLY* JUST FUCKING SAY THAT? WHO THE FUCK GAVE YOU THE RIGHT TO POLLUTE THE TROLLNET WITH THAT?  
||||| °°h hey there b@st@rd, y°u sure @b°ut th@t¿ wh@t @re y°u g°nn@ do @b°ut it if i keep reminding every°ne h°w gr°ss l°wbl°°ds @re¿  
|||||| I UH. OH. YEAH THAT'S RIGHT, YOU'LL REGRET SAYING THAT  
||||||| °h ye@h¿ i,m n°t c°nvinced mr l°udm°uth¡  
|||||||| oooh look who5 getting all flirty!  
||||||||| (shhhhh! °n°)

[Message From: Krkrik Sterbi To: Karkat Vantas]  
hey there' y°u @rr°g@nt prick¡ i didn,t kn°w it w@s even p°ssible t° dislike s°me°ne s° much @fter s° little time¡ y°u,d better h°pe y°u,re n°t °n the iskl@ pl@ins' f°r y°ur °wn s@fety¡

[Message From: Karkat Vantas To: Krkrik Sterbi]  
WELL GUESS WHAT? I AM. DO YOU WANT TO MEET ME BY THE LAKE TOMORROW? STRIFE SPECIBI OPEN?

[Message From: Krkrik Sterbi To: Karkat Vantas]  
th@t s°unds vile¡

[Message From: Karkat Vantas To: Krkrik Sterbi]  
SO IS THAT A YES OR A NO?

[Message From: Krkrik Sterbi To: Karkat Vantas]  
yes, y°u ign°r@nt git

[Message From: Karkat Vantas To: Krkrik Sterbi]  
I'LL SEE YOU AT SECOND MOONRISE, IF YOUR EMPTY THINKPAN CAN KEEP THAT THOUGHT FOR THAT LONG? UNLESS IT'S CONVENIENT FOR YOU, OF COURSE, BECAUSE THIS WHOLE THING IS ALREADY SO FUCKING INCONVENIENT FOR ME.


End file.
